The Inclusive Mindset: How to Cultivate Diversity in Your Everyday Life by Jones-Fosu Justin

Author:Jones-Fosu, Justin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Peter Jones Publishing
Published: 2021-03-18T16:00:00+00:00

AUTHENTIC LISTENING

I continue to marvel at how that kid on the plane listened to the lady next to him. He was performing a master class on how to listen. He engaged in what I call authentic listening, because I have learned you can fake active listening (I used to teach it). All you have to do is (1) repeat what the person just said to you, (2) mimic their behaviors, and (3) lean in to show them you are really interested—that gets them every time. Those three things don’t communicate real listening, and real active listening is authentic listening by another name. Real active listening is defined as

the ability to focus completely on a speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information and respond thoughtfully. Unlike passive listening, which is the act of hearing a speaker without retaining their message, this highly valued interpersonal communication skill ensures you’re able to engage and later recall specific details without needing information repeated.4

Authentic listening is completely losing yourself in the conversation with that person, to the point where you might forget what you wanted to say because you are listening that intently.

You know when people are really listening to you. They may or may not make eye contact, but they are focused on you. They have amazing follow-up questions that convey what you just shared and point to something deeper that you might not have said yet. Authentic listening is not an act but rather a state of being.

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